Wednesday, July 9, 2008

A Guide for the Moroccan Taxi Driver

The 1991 Mercedes C220 is an excellent model for desert crossings. No A/C, fake vinyl upholstery, cassette drive and finicky windows all make it very well-suited to driving in hot climates, especially when passenger discomfort is priority. You may have to reach behind you frequently to open and slam the passenger doors to ensure that they stay closed. Do this often while traveling at high speeds in order to keep your passengers on edge.

In order to maximize profits, every slight decline should be coasted down, with as little acceleration as possible. The minimum speed limit however on flat stretches is 190 km/hr (93mph). Also, there is no real speed limit. The red and white signs with numbers are mainly for decoration.

A two lane-highway actually does not mean one lane in each direction. No, to the contrary, the two lanes actually alternate directions. The key is to be able to see the oncoming traffic, which can be difficult to do when multiple cars in front of you decide to pass other slower-moving vehicules as well. When you are driving in rural areas, there will be an abundance of large, produce-and-illegal-immigrants/hitchhiker-laden trucks. These are particularly slow-moving and must be passed constantly. Timing is key. Only pass when you have less than ten seconds to change back into your own lane. Even better, to save time, wait until multiple tucks pile up to pass them all at once. Large tour buses should also be passed every time you encounter one. Please note that they are often just as fast as your Mercedes and more likely to tip over.

As for gas mileage, you can drive at least 12 km (7 miles) on empty. Gas fumes will last a long distance, especially when coasting downhill. Changing elevation can affect the needle in the gas tank and you might find that you have even less/more than you previously thought. Accuracy is not very important. However, note that all the tour buses and trucks that you passed earlier will now want to pass you at very high speeds.

On long trips, take frequent and unexplained breaks at rest stops. The vague excuse of coffee does indeed signal to your passengers that you will be eating an entire three-course meal with tea and will spend an undetermined amount of time doing so.

Be prepared to be stopped by the Moroccan police at least several times. Do argue with them thoroughly before you grudgingly agree to show your registration and papers. Don't explain what is happening to your foreign passengers—they might become even more confused.

And one last suggestion: make sure that you don't have any change for large bills at the end of the trip. Your passengers will be very satisfied customers indeed.

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